If you’ve gone to ISU for more than a day, it’s less of a possibility and more of a guarantee that you’ve seen many a tired student clutching to a blue coffee cup while simultaneously grasping a brown paper bag with the words ‘Einstein Bros. Bagels’ etched lovingly on the outside.
It’s a staple here in our Idaho State community, Einstein Bros. Bagels. Whether you’re grabbing a bagel sandwich for lunch with some study buddies in the PSUB or getting some coffee to keep yourself awake during those long study nights, Einstein Bros is here to support our Bengals with fresh bagels, loud cheery music, and the friendliest employees around (but, not Dutch Bros-level friendly, thankfully).
But now it’s time to get real. I’m here to tell you about the five best food items at Einstein Bros, completely uncontested. This is 100% fact and anyone who tells you that this is just an opinion is wrong. (Side note, I was going to include drinks in this ranking, but taste in coffee is subjective. Fight me about it.)
Alright, I’m going to admit something potentially very embarrassing. I have never had this. There, I said it. But I’ve always wanted to. For everyone, there is always something that you’re longing after, searching for, and mine is the Farmhouse Bagel from Einstein Bros. Bagels. The giant poster they put up in the PSUB in just so intimidating to me. It looks fantastic. Dare I say it, it looks perfect. But what if it doesn’t live up to its expectations? What if I’m putting too much pressure on it? I’m not even a huge breakfast sandwich person to begin with there are just so many ways it could go wrong. One day, I will order it. And it will be glorious. In the meantime, if you’ve had it, email me at ude.usinull@efilgb and give me your review. Please.
4. Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake
If you have a crazy tight class schedule like me, you might not have time to stand and wait for something to be cooked while you’re on the run to your next class or club meeting. That is why I recommend the absolutely decadent chocolate chip coffee cake. It is a perfect size — it fits in the palm of your hand — and as an added bonus, comes with coffee to keep you awake without having to buy a coffee separately! Not to mention these cakes are always baked to perfection, and pretty much always available. It is very rare to see me sitting in the PSUB without one.
3. Pepperoni Pizza Bagel
I’m starting this review off with a story. When I lived in Rendezvous, it was a quick jaunt down to the PSUB. One day I had finished an extraordinary amount of homework and was just craving something greasy and delicious, exactly what a pizza bagel provides. So as you would, I went down to Einsteins, complete with my meal card and my headphones for while I waited in line. I received my pepperoni pizza bagel, grabbed it with my right hand, holding my phone in my left, and for whatever reason, transferred the pizza bagel to my left hand as well. This resulted in a disaster. I lost control of the pizza bagel box which resulted in half of the pizza bagel, falling to the ground right in front of the coffee dispensers. Pizza sauce and cheese exploded on my shoes and all over the floor. I looked around hoping, praying, that nobody saw, but to my dismay, there were two girls behind me, truly pitying my existence at that moment. Thankfully, I still had half of the bagel left, safely warm and gooey with mozzarella cheese in the box, but to this day, I still miss that other half. What could’ve been?
2. Turkey and Cheddar Bagel
I have a couple of qualms about this sandwich that I would like to address. First of all, I want to personally call out anyone who has ever ordered this sandwich with lettuce. Thanks for ruining a nearly perfect bagel sandwich. Secondly, one of the main purposes of this sandwich is to shovel dijon mustard into my mouth. The dijon mustard is the real star of this bagel, pulling together the fresh turkey, sharp cheddar, and ripe tomatoes. I don’t know what brand of mustard Einstein Bros. uses, but it is glorious. The only way I can see someone not liking this sandwich is if they were allergic to mustard. And in that case, I’ll excuse you from being called out, but know that I sympathize with you.
1. Asiago Bagel w/ Reduced Fat Garden Veggie Shmear
There are a few reasons why this is the best item at Einstein’s. Let me enlighten you. The asiago bagel tastes like what I imagine it is like to visit Vienna, Austria on a crisp, summer morning. Warm to the touch, wind in my hair, and cheese embedded into the crust. Although what pushed this item to the number one slot, is the Garden Veggie shmear. Listen, I know that at first glance it can sound like the shmear of a health nut, but take one bite and try to look me in the eyes to tell me that the mix of veggies with the perfectly smooth cream cheese doesn’t take you to another dimension of flavors. Dare I say it, it takes me to Flavortown every time.
Turkey Sausage and Cheddar Bagel
As I said, I’m not a huge breakfast sandwich person, but this one kinda slaps. With a little hot sauce, I think it could eventually make its way up the list.
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Honey Almond shmear
This one is fantastic, but I know that raisins can be controversial, so I thought it might be best to keep this one down here to avoid any sort of riots at The Bengal office. Although there have been very few newspaper meetings where I haven’t been annoyingly munching on one of these.